Lost
by girl.with.passion
Summary: A twisted father & son relationship. 2 Months after losing his son, ACP finds out really who his son was in a very unexpected way. It explores the relation of father-son. Why didn't they had normal father-son relationship? - Nakul's perspective on being ACP's son. More details inside
1. Chapter One

Hey guys... for so long I had this idea hovering in my mind, exploring ACP Pradyuman's and Nakul's relationship. A twisted father & son relationship. So I'm writing this as Nakul's perspective on his and ACP's relationship, why is it so twisted. It wouldn't be a long story. I'm starting with 1st part, it might be then continued as a fan-fiction or 2-3 parter story.

**Author Note: Before I post.. I've to clear few things. As we were never clear on why their relationship was twisted, why and how Nakul gone bad.. a lot of things in this story are assumptions and and majorly from NAKUL'S perspective. We all know ACP loved his son but Nakul did not know that, so please keep that in mind while reading it. Also in my story so far Nakul is not a criminal, he was bad but not a criminal. **

**Story Trailer: watch?v=QYK0V32REN4  
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:Lost Chapter One - Diary:

It's been 2 months since Nakul has passed away. He died in a car accident 2 months ago. ACP Pradyuman was trying to bring himself to deal with this fact. He is having hard time accepting that Nakul is no more. Nakul couldn't just leave like this, not like this, not without giving his father chance of telling how much he loved Nakul; what he meant to him. Pradyuman, the father had so much to tell Nakul which he had never chance to because of his job, because of his tough attitude. Now he just wishes that he had 1 moment, just one moment with his son, so he can tell him how much he loved him. Since the death ACP didn't go into Nakul's room, truth to be told he could not find the courage to go inside his room. It is not just a room but it contains the small world in which his son lived all his life. The world he woven for himself and in this world ACP was nowhere.

ACP goes into the room immediately he can feel the presence of Nakul there which makes him emotional. His gaze quickly scans the room, it is a lot different than ACP remembered last, and he can't remember the last time he was in this room. The room is a mess... Nakul is not the clean freak. ACP goes towards his bed, he slowly sits on the side Nakul used to sleep. Tears starts to well up in his eyes but they refuse to fall. Without noticing his hand moves towards Nakul's pillow, his hand feels the pillow, he can sense Nakul there. He just wishes that one last time he can see Nakul, he can touch his head to bless him, just one time he can tell him he does not hate him but love his son very much. His thoughts are interrupted when his gaze catches something fallen on the floor at the edge of the bed. As he bends down to pick it up, he realizes it's a diary. ACP looks closely it is a diary, Nakul's diary! Acp is shocked at the revelation that Nakul wrote diary, Nakul didn't like to write. ACP is beginning to feel he did not know his son after all. As he tries to flick through the pages he ends up on a random entry, it was 2 years ago. ACP Pradyuman begins reading the entry.

**29****th****-Jul-2010**

_'Don't I know what people think of me? Don't I know what they call me behind my back? A spoilt brat! An abomination! People just love to judge, they judge book by its cover not by what it holds inside. They don't know my story; they don't understand me, what I have been through. They'd laugh if I say this; they'll ask me 'what could possibly be that you went through? You are ACP Pradyuman's son.' I am tired of hearing this, absolutely tired. People don't understand why I have a twisted relationship with my father. Of course no one can dare to blame my fath... ACP Pradyuman for it because he is the messiah and messiah is never wrong, he help others not cause pain. ACP Pradyuman has always remained ACP Pradyuman, he never or can ever be a father. _

_When I was very young barely few years old my mother died and I grew up in the shadow of ACP Pradyuman, not my father. I don't know what father is, I have never known what the father's love is. I am a neglected child, I was neglected by the only parent, only family I had in this world. I don't recall any good memories, any good time we had together because he was busy, serving his country. I know it's his duty and he kept duty above everything, above family... above his own son. I never said it's wrong but cooping with this is not as easy as people think. No one can understand the nights I spent alone, the days I spent waiting for him so when he gets back I can talk to him. We never had our talks, I used to, in fact still envy the other kids who have great relationship with their parents. I used to hear all sorts of stories from my classmates how their father taught them fishing, played cricket with them. I never got the chance to experience any of this. He would just say go play with your friends, he didn't even know that I don't have any friends. I don't have any friends, I am all alone. I am a freakin' LONER! That's what I am, a LOSER and a LONER! My only friend is my loneliness and I have made peace with it. _

_Many people would say being ACP's son is a blessing, it's a huge thing, but in my case it seems like curse. I live and die with it, I am always in everyone's eyes, my each move is being watched by everyone because I am known as ACP son's I have to be the perfect, ideal son. Being ACP's son means you are always in the court, you have to prove yourself... I don't have the unspoken father-son bond that trust. Because my father.. no.. ACP only believes what his eyes shows him, he only look at proof not at the person, not at the relation, not at the heart... the trust, it's nowhere. He has always been the ACP not a father. So why shouldn't I be angry? Why shouldn't I behave like this? I always yarned for his attention even if it's only for a moment, his undivided attention. He is not my father, he is only ACP! I can never accept him as my father now. Never!'_

ACP's world seems to have stopped right here, at this moment; tears which were in the eyes for so long finally starts to flow from his eyes at the recent revelation. He did not lost his son in the accident 2 months ago, he lost his son long ago, years ago.


	2. Chapter Two

**LOST|Chapter Two - Accident_  
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_'Where are you going Nakul?'_ a voice stops a young man in late 20s, he turns around and finds his father staring at him, anger is visible in his eyes.

Nakul gets irritated _'what dad?'_

_'Nakul, it's late, where are you going?' _

_'Out.'_

_'Out where?' _

_'What am I? 10? Come on dad, can we do this another time? Plus why so much care all of sudden? Oops, sorry I mean why so much enquiry tonight?'_

_'Nakul!'_ ACP is absolutely tired of Nakul's behaviour he tries not to lose his cool. _'You are never home Nakul, start spending some time at home I never see you home, you are always out.'_

_'Wow, this shows how much time you actually spend around here. It's not my fault that you never see me here, if you'd really wanted me to see me around here you'd be here to see. It is not me who is never home, it is you. In fact most of times you don't even know if I'm at home or not. It shows how occupied you are being ACP.'_

_'Nakul, stop it. What has gotten into you?'_

Instead of answering Nakul just sighs and starts playing with his keys. It is getting hard for ACP to tolerate such behaviour of him he does not understand what has gotten in him.

_'Dad, I have to go. We can do this another time, when we meet again.'_

_'Do I need to tell you what is wrong in that sentence?... Nakul if you want to live in this house...'_

Before ACP could carry on, Nakul interrupts him.

_'Then I rather not live... You know what I don't even want to come back here. Living in this house and living in a hotel is about the same thing.'_

ACP is shocked at his son's words, Nakul never before expressed his feelings about not wanting to come back to home. Before ACP could response Nakul picks up his jacket from the chair near him and leaves. ACP hears his son's voice from outside saying _'Goodbye Dad.'_ ACP shakes his head and goes into his room, thinking about what to do about his son's behaviour. Nakul was getting rude day by day; ACP didn't understand why is he doing such stuff? Every now and then he'd see his son in some newspaper or hear from someone that Nakul throwing tantrums at party, getting into fights. Getting a complain phone call regarding Nakul wasn't new to ACP, but recently it was quite low. But still Nakul's behaviour with ACP was getting bad, day by day it was high time ACP would do something about this. After a lot of thinking ACP calls Abhijeet and lets him know that this weekend he will be spending time home, with Nakul so he is not coming to bureau for 2 days so he asks Abhijeet to manage all the paperwork and if there is a real emergency then call him, Abhijeet agrees ACP bids goodbye and hangs up.

3 hours later ACP is awoken by a loud and constant phone ring, as he picks up he is surprised to hear Inspector Rathod on the other end. Inspector asks ACP to come quickly on the Narrow Bridge, it's been an accident. Inspector does not disclose any more information and curious ACP quickly leaves for the accident spot.

As ACP reaches the spot the first thing he notices the accident is absolutely horrible, car has turned upside down, all the windows have been smashed completely, the glass is spread inside the car and outside on the road. As he makes his way towards the car, he can see a body stuck inside the car. Suddenly ACP stops his tracks there as his gaze moves towards the number plate his body turns cold, his feet refuses to move.

_'This can't be... it's not... not possible.'_ After a moment he slowly moves towards the front of car towards the body, praying madly inside that it is not who he thinks he is. ACP bends down the see the face of victim. Suddenly he jumps back shouting _'NO!'_ startling the other people who were on the accident spot.

_'Then I rather not live... You know what I don't even want to come back here.'_ Nakul's last sentence comes rushing back into ACP's mind and it pierces his soul like a sword. As ACP regains control over his body he rushes towards the car and starts to pull out his son. Nakul's whole face is covered in blood, there are some glasses stuck in his face. ACP tries to wake up his son, call his name repeatedly, hoping he will response, but it all goes in vain. Inspector Rathod tries to inform ACP that Nakul is died, he died immediately after the accident but ACP could not hear the Inspector's words, that moment everything vanished, the world, the people, nothing existed ACP could not see them or hear them. It was just him, trying to wake up his son. Inspector holds ACP gently tries to move him away from the car, but ACP doesn't move and calls his name again. 'He is dead, sir.' ACP shots deadly glare to inspector who only whispers 'I'm sorry.'After few moments ACP starts to regain his senses and Inspector Rathod explains to ACP what happened meanwhile other inspectors try to remove Nakul's body from the car. Inspector tell ACP Nakul was driving drunk, he must've not see the car coming front until it was close so he quickly turned his car which caused it to crash at the edge of bridge and it turned upside down. He tells ACP the owner of other car is also here if he wants to meet him but ACP is not interested in this. Nakul is gone, forever. _'Then I rather not live...' 'Goodbye Dad.' _Nakul's last words ring in ACP's ears, tears starts to stream down his eyes and he closes his eyes hoping it is all a bad dream.

As he opens his eyes he feels a burning sensation in the eyes. He does not care about the burn, he looks around finds himself on Nakul's room, and he is lying on his bed with his diary on the floor. It must've fallen from his hands when he read an extract from his diary. ACP lets out a loud sigh, it isn't a dream after all, he did lose his son.


	3. Chapter Three

Lost|Chapter Three - Only If

For a long time ACP just sits in the same position, time passes away but he doesn't seemed to have realized it. His body was here, in the room but his soul was there on the accident he was reliving the night of the accident. ACP picks up the diary from the floor, his mind and heart starts battling whether he should continue reading or not. He just read one page and it tore his soul down he will not be able to bear anymore of this. But his heart says his son deserves to be heard, ACP should know what Nakul thought, what he went through, what was going on his life. When ACP had a chance, he never bothered to learn about his son's life, now he found a way to learn about Nakul, how can he turn away from that? So what if it contains hurtful words towards him, they can't hurt more than Nakul's death. After another round of debating ACP gives in he decides to read the diary it's the only way to be connected to Nakul.

ACP opens the diary, first time he examines the diary closely. It is not like the usual diaries with dates. It is more like a notebook with pages without date, he flicks through some pages and notices Nakul did not write diary everyday but he used to update it sometimes; ACP starts from the beginning pages. The first entry was made 2 years ago at new years.

**01/01/10**

**'What a Happy New Year (!) You know what is the worst part of this day? That I have no one to wish happy new year and no one cares enough to wish me. It's not like I wanted to wish him, I did but he is never free to even take a call from his own son. He must be too busy catching some idiot stupid criminal who wouldn't just spare us for one day on new year's night! I just HATE new year! No more new year for me... ever.'**

ACP feels pinch in his heart, only if he had returned his call that night; he thought he will return the call later but that later never came. Later he did not felt important to wish after all it's just a formality. _'Only if I did wish him... only if.'_

'_Happy new Year Nakul. My darling son.'_ Without even realizing this slips from ACP's tongue, barely as a whisper, hoping that Nakul would hear it. Only if he said it sooner. Only if. ACP turns to next page though his heart is a lot heavy with guilt but he does not want to stop turning pages. _'Maybe this is my punishment for ignoring him'_ with this thought ACP turn to another page. Nakul left the back side of page blank and wrote on the next one. The next entry wasn't till March.

**10/03/10**

** 'Seriously! I mean COME ON! Dad you never understand, you will never understand. He will never understand what music is to me. I love music, I love playing guitar, I love making tunes but he will never understand, will he. Because only understands the police officers. I so hate the thinking that a child has to follow their parent's footsteps in career. Why? It is not my fault my father is ACP. Just because he is my father and ACP does not mean he will decide that whether I should be a police officer or someone else. I don't want to be a police, army, navy, CID or any officer. I love my music, it's my passion but of course how will be understand. He does not know what passion is. He thinks his job is his passion to me it seems turned into obsession! He can't just order me to stop playing as if I'm a 5 years old. He will never understand that my music is for me what his job is for him. He can't live without his job exactly that way I can't live without my music.' **

As ACP finishes reading this entry he is in utterly shock state. He knew Nakul liked to play guitar but did not have faintest idea the he was in love with music this much. ACP looks at the entry date closely set of blur images starts to play in his mind.

_'This is enough.'_ With this ACP gets up and makes his way out of his study and find Nakul in living, laying leisurely at the sofa not far away with guitar in his hands. He seemed to be lost in some other world, a faint smile was playing on his lips as he was playing the guitar.

_'That's enough Nakul, stop playing it right now. I am trying to work on important case for tomorrow and this nuisance is causing me a headache.'_

A loud voice jolts Nakul back to reality as he hears his father complain about his music and calling it nuisance. ACP continues.

_'What is wrong with you these days, whenever I see you, you are busy with your guitar. Stop wasting time and do something productive. I know being a CID officer is not your cup of tea, you already broke that dream of mine but that does not mean you can waste your time like this. Go to your room now and don't disturb me, I have to be a court early morning tomorrow.'_

Before ACP has chance to carry own, Nakul takes his guitar and runs to his room, few seconds later ACP hears Nakul slam his room door. ACP sighs and goes back to his study wondering what has gotten into him.

_'Me! I was the reason Nakul was acting that way. Why I never saw this then? Only if, I had paid more attention and only if I was little more supportive. So what if he did not wanted to be in same field as me, a parent's job is to show their support to their children. Why did not I do that? I was so busy worrying about the case, I did not even realize what I was saying to him. I called his passion a waste of time, his music a nuisance. I gave him every reason to hate me.' _ACP feels himself breaking down yet again, though his tears have dried up, the eyes are swollen red yet they are still crying. He wants nothing in the world expect to turn back the clocks and change every moment he had with Nakul, change it to better, to beautiful moment. Only if it was possible, only if. ACP stands up and moves towards the bedside wall where Nakul's guitar is hanging, hesitated, he moves his hand towards the guitar, slowly his fingers finds their way to the strings, as his fingers touch the strings ACP tries to remember the tune Nakul was playing that night.


	4. Chapter Four

Thank you soooo much guys for such an appreciation for the story. I never thought it'll receive such an overwhelming response. :" Thank you all for such an amazing support, please keep it coming would love to hear your responses to the story. :) Enjoy the new part! :)

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**Lost Chapter Four - Wishful Dream**

ACP is sitting comfortably at the sofa chair placed right next to Nakul's window with his diary is his hands. Nakul always liked having sofa chair there which was outside ACP's understanding but tonight he understood why Nakul liked to sit here for long. Sometimes when ACP Pradyuman would come home late at night he would go to Nakul's room to check up on him, most of the times find him sitting on that sofa chair with his head resting on the window, his eyes looking at view outside, sometimes staring up at the sky. Tonight sitting in his room, in same position, looking outside ACP can understand the reason of this being Nakul's favourite spot perfectly. The view is incredible especially of the sky when it is clear of clouds it is filled with stars, he understand that Nakul used to think about his mum when he would sit here for long that times it would is so quiet, so peaceful. Even tonight is so quiet but certainly not peaceful.

ACP looks at the diary again which was still in his hands, he starts reading the next entry.

**15/5/2010**

**'Today first time I played my music in front of people, I never thought it will be appreciated this much. I have been going to the creative workshop from past 2 weeks, today was its last day after everyone's constant request I played my guitar little bit. I got applauded! First time someone actually appreciated, recognise my passion. I know it's stupid and impossible but that moment a part of me wish if dad was here to see this, if he could hear these applauses, these praises maybe, just maybe then he would be proud of me even if it is for a moment. But I know it's never going to happen. But if it did, I just...' **

ACP was eager to read more but Nakul hadn't finish that sentence, his eyes moves towards the guitar once again with hopeful eyes. '_I am proud you of Nakul, I am very proud of you_.' With this he moves to the next entry which is on the next page.

**6/5/2010**

**'I cannot believe I am saying this but right now I envy Daya and Abhijeet so much. It may seem stupid but they it seems my dad has adopted them, they are his adopted, no actually they are his real sons, his children and I am a nobody. I see how he looks at them, how he worries about them. He never looked at me like this, never worried about me like this. Why them? Why not me? Why doesn't he like me? Abhijeet & Daya get to spend so much time with my father, it's the time which is supposed to be mine not theirs. I envy them because they seem to know dad more than I do, they spend so much time together and I don't, they all share jokes with him and he actually laughs but never with me. Why? What is so special in them both which is not in mine? Would he really one day adopt them both? What if one day he actually forgets that he does have a real son... an ignorant but still a son? I actually fear that if this keeps happening, then one day he might actually forget me or worse he would wish them to be his sons instead of me. I just so envy them and hate them, even though I know it is not their fault exactly but I just do.' **

ACP stares at this entry in complete shock, he is unable to believe his eyes that Nakul actually wrote this? He actually thought this? ACP rereads this entry hoping he read wrong but no his eyes were not deceiving him, Nakul actually wrote this, these thoughts actually crossed Nakul's mind.

_"You are not an ignorant son Nakul but in fact I am the ignorant father. What other best example of that be when my own on feared that one day I will forget him. I am so so sorry my beta, for making you feel like this. Nakul you are my son, my only son no one could or can ever replace you, not Abhijeet, not Daya nor anyone. They are special to me, very special but not as much as you Nakul, not as much as you. I am sorry Nakul, please forgive me. I am so sorry my beta."_ ACP is crying now, actually crying, his speech is muffled with his crying but he still hopes Nakul can hear this. After sometime he regains control over his emotions and decides to turn the page, he will read it till the end; even if it kills him every time he reads an entry on the new page he will continue reading. With each entry he feels that his willpower, his strength is decreasing that he will not be able to live now with so much burden but it seems to be a work of some unknown force that he keeps turning the pages when he seems he can't take it anymore, he feels empowered to turn the page. Next entry is date is: 20/06/2010. ACP recognizes the date, it hits him like a lightening, it is Nakul's birthday, 20th-June.

20/06/2010

'Wow... I just had a weird dream and it woke me up, it has to be written here. Firstly, happy birthday to me! Some birthday this has been, same old day, same old story, boring day, did nothing but waited for dad to wish me, at least call or text me which is beyond him I know but still. Well, he didn't wish me. But I just had weird or more likely wishful dream where he actually remembered my birthday and wished me. He came in late, he just sat next to me and whispered 'happy birthday' to me and he actually kissed my forehead. It was such a beautiful dream, I wish it was reality. I really wish it wasn't only a dream. Anyways this writing made me sleepy again, hopefully I can finish this dream when I go back to sleep.'

This entry brings a sad smile on ACP's lips, he gazes at the entry once again, then rests his head back leaning back and closes his eyes.

'23:11 PM' the clock showed in living room as ACP made he was inside the home. He was so late today, there was a case in bureau today which kept his occupied, it made him forget yet again. He slowly makes his way towards Nakul's room as he approaches near the room he sees the lights are out which surprises him as Nakul is not an early sleeper then how come today he is gone to bed early. ACP silently makes his way into his room and sees him sleeping but his facial expressions show that he is not sleeping peacefully. ACP gently sits on his bed next to where Nakul is sleeping. '_He still sleeps like a little baby._' A sight which makes ACP smile every time he sees. ACP moves his hand towards Nakul's hairs, gently creases them. "Happy birthday son." His voice is barely above a whisper, careful not trying to wake his sleeping son up. ACP ever so softly places a kiss on Nakul's forehead, gets up and turns to leave the room with same silent he came in. He walks out of room, closes the door very quietly and goes back to his room.


	5. Chapter Five

Thank you so much guys for your responses. Love you all so much.

A.N.: As you'll know it's Eid this weekend so I'll be super busy with Eid and preps so there will not be an update over the weekend. InshAllah will post next chapter on Mon. On this note.. Eid Mubarak guys and enjoy the chapter Five.

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Lost: Chapter Five - Lonely

'_I wish Nakul you knew it wasn't a dream but a reality._' ACP sighs heavily, but this entry was not just an ordinary entry, it made him realize how much he meant to Nakul, how much Nakul yearned for attention. ACP could feel the excitement, happiness he was feeling from the dream, if he knew it was real Nakul would be over the moon. '_Only if I had shown my affection more often'_ ACP thinks.

After this entry the next entry was the same one which he read first which was posted on: 29/Jul/2010. ACP turned to next page as he could not read this entry again. The next entry in the diary wasn't until Oct/2010; Nakul surely wasn't consistent in writing the diary which made ACP curious he wondered what would've happening with Nakul in the missing months.

**4/10/2010**

**'****I feel so lonely tonight, not that it's uncommon. I feel lonely almost all the time but tonight it is different. I don't know how or why but it is different kind of loneliness. I miss you mum so much, I just wish you were here with me right now. Even dad is not home tonight he is gone for some work conference in Delhi. It's not the first time he has gone for 2-3 days but tonight I feel so alone knowing even dad's not here tonight. Mum why did you go away like this? I miss you a lot, I want you right now, want to be with you. Dad is like an invisible figure, him being here, not being here is pretty much the same thing most of the times. You are not going to believe this but I feel like crying so much. Not like usual cry but feel like wailing. My heart is feels so heavy right now, this burden on my heart is killing me, can't even breathe properly. I just want to cry all out. I wish I could lie in your lap mum and cry as much as I want, as loudly as I can. I...' **

After this nothing was written, it seemed like Nakul tried to write it but was not able to because of his emotional breakdown. ACP did not needed to be told what happened next, he knew exactly happened next. ACP gets up from the sofa chair and moves towards the room's closed door, ACP kneels down in front of the door, '_this is where he sat and cried for hours, isn't it?_' his mind questions him. ACP moves his hand on the floor, gently feeling it, where Nakul was sitting that night. Actually where he often used to sit when he wanted to cry, ACP remembers when Nakul was young boy sometimes he used to get scolding's from his father, he would run up to his room, lock it and kneel down against the door for hours and cry or sometimes just sits there quietly. ACP sits down with his back resting on the door, diary in one hand and with other hand resting on the floor trying to feel Nakul's essence there. ACP doesn't know what happened that particular night which made Nakul breakdown like this but he was sure that somehow it was his fault. This time ACP does not hold back his emotions, with every remaining emotion in him he calls out his son. "_Nakul!"_ He shouts his name with such emotions that any living person who would hear it will break into million pieces like a glass. An hour pass by and ACP stays in the same position, he never felt so lost, so hopeless in his life ever before. He is completely exhausted both mentally and physically, this night is not being easy on him. Finally his gaze moves towards the diary once again, flicks to the next page of the diary. The next entry wasn't until December 2010.

**27/12/10**

**'****Another year is almost done, though not much different from previous ones. Gosh it is going to be New Year in few days. There is absolutely nothing which I can say was amazing about this year except from the two new tunes I have been working on this year. My music is the only good thing that ever happened to me. I can already tell what will happen next, dad will say he will not be working on New Year then he will end up working on New Year, rather end up spending New Year with his Daya & Abhijeet. But this time I will not expect any wishes or any kind of attention from him. I will not have any expectations from him. I tried, I tried to get his attention, to make him listen to me but same thing happened he didn't had time for me yet again. I wonder if ever in this life he will have time for me. Ever?'**

ACP inhales sharply as he finishes reading this passage. '_Another year I wasted... another opportunity I lost to know my son, to love him._' ACP was beginning to understand Nakul's behaviour, his attitude, he was doing all of that only to get his father's attention, he hoped ACP would notice this, understand it but unfortunately this never happened. Instead of talking to Nakul, understanding him all ACP did was yell at him, question him, treat him like he was standing in court.

_'__ACP only believes what his eyes shows him, he only look at proof not at the person, not at the relation, not at the heart... the trust, it's nowhere.'_ACP remembers the passage from Nakul's first entry he read in diary, now he understood perfectly why Nakul wrote that. Unknowingly ACP was treating his son like any other suspects, any other person he never treated Nakul as son.

_"__No matter how many times I say sorry it is not going to turn the time back. I don't know if you hear this or not, I am truly sorry for treating you like this, ignoring you for so long. I'm very sorry." _ACP says to his son while staring at his big poster picture behind the bed. He turns to next page but finds it empty; he flicks through another one that is empty too. Then he turns to next page and finds a small entry.

**1/1/11**

**'****Happy New Year, lonely boy; once again you are proven right. Another new year without dad. But I don't know why I keep having this feeling that this year will be different than others. Don't know how but it will be different. After a long time I feel hopeful tonight, strange right? I know.' **

It also makes ACP more curious, he wants to know whether Nakul's feeling came true or not and he turns to page to read the next entry.

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Enjoy!


	6. Chapter Six

Thank you guys for your patience and absolutely lovely and encouraging reviews. Here's the new part of story dedicated to you all, for your patience. :D

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**Lost Chapter Six - My Light**

**25/02/11**

**'Dad likes cake? He actually eats cake? This is a shock, a real shock! This shows how less I know him. But wow, he likes cake!'**

As ACP finishes reading this entry, he could not stop himself from laughing, first time since the accident ACP finds himself laughing. ACP remembers the night when this happened.

ACP notices Nakul sitting at the dinning table as he makes his way towards Nakul. Nakul was busy eating as ACP got closer he found a mid-size cake on the table and found Nakul was eating with his mouth full and his hands were also covered with cake's cream.

_"Ever heard of spoon?"_ Nakul finds himself turning around to see his father standing over his shoulder and enjoying the sight very much.

_"It's CAKE dad!"_ ACP smiles at Nakul's response who goes back to eating cake, ACP sits besides Nakul.

_"What are we celebrating? Why cake tonight?"_

_"No celebration, I just was having cravings for the cake since yesterday so I finally bought it today. Plus we never celebrate anything, so we hardly have any cakes." _

Nakul's response make ACP smile but the last sentence makes ACP slightly sad because it's sad but also true. They never had any celebrations, they hardly got together. ACP decides to leave all this, he just takes the knife, cut's the cake's piece and places into his plate and starts eating. The same moment Nakul stops his hand which was just an inch way from his mouth and looks shockingly at his father who is eating the cake and equally enjoying it.

_"DAD?"_

_"Yes?"_

_"You...are eating...cake?"_

_"Why, yes I am."_

_"Dad!"_

_"Hmm.."_

_"You like cake?"_

_"I love cake."_

_"What...?"_

ACP looks up from his plate to see Nakul still confused and shock and his hand is still hanging in mid air with cake's piece which is ready to fall.

_"Eat it before it falls Nakul. Come on, dig in... or else I'll finish all of it."_

Without saying another word both carry on eating cake. It was one rare and special moment father and son shared in a very long time. To most people it'd seem trivial but for Nakul that moment was everything.

'_How sweet. Of course Nakul, I love cake as much you do that's because you got this from me, your mother always used to say that._' ACP's smiles widens remembering that night, he could see how happy Nakul at his little discovery of his father's likeness for cake, he got happy as if he discovered gold or something. ACP moves to the next entry which wasn't until the late march.

26/03/11

**'What a strange girl!'**

ACP's eyes go wide in surprise. He checks the sentence again, it surely says that. There was nothing else writing apart from this one sentence. '_Girl? There was a girl in Nakul's life? Wait... maybe I am thinking too much, maybe it is not like what I think it is. I'll read further maybe he mentioned about this in his later entries.' _ACP gets more curious after this entry as he never ever heard about a girl, not even a mention of friend or anyone so this entry rather took him by surprise.

**6/04/11**

**'I saw her again today. She's such a strange girl I swear, never seen anyone like her before.'**

Nakul's entries have never been so descriptive which ACP didn't paid attention till now. Nakul's less descriptive entries are making ACP very curious right now. '_I wish Nakul you were more descriptive.'_ ACP turns the page hoping to find more related to this girl.

**25/04/11**

**'So, we are finally friends. Yes, the very same girl is not a stranger anymore. We are friends. I finally have a friend! Never knew it will feel so good to have a friend. I will still stick to my opinion that she is strange. She is... but in good, surprising way.'**

ACP finishes reading in surprise. _'So I am right, there was a girl in Nakul's life. I never knew that. Who is this girl?'_

ACP turns to the next page, it is nearly impossible to put the diary down now, he wants to know more about this girl. He wonders where this lead to?

**8/05/2011**

**'She loved my music, she really loved it. I am not saying this because the way she praised it but when I was playing it I could see it in her eyes, her expressions were showing how much she was enjoying it. Though it was unfair that she heard me playing before, I did not know she was standing behind me, I thought there was no one, that's why I kept playing. Later she kept forcing me to play more, so I could not refuse her. I have to admit it was nice playing it to someone who does not only listen but understand it. She wants me to play in public; she wants me to go public. There is no way I am doing that. My music is my personal business I am so not going public with it. We both have a lot to learn about each other.'**

ACP smiles at the entry, finally Nakul had someone in his life and in his diary too. '_Whoever she is, she was surely important part of Nakul's life._' ACP turns to the next page already knowing that next entry will also be about the girl.

**26/05/2011**

**'I told her everything about me, my life and about my twisted relation with dad. Told her everything except who is my father; don't know I didn't wanted to scare her saying ****_"oh yea, between my father is ACP Pradyuman."_**** Not saying I wouldn't tell her, maybe later but not tonight. She had tears in her eyes! She silently cried, for me! So strange, right? No one ever cried for me, not even shed a single tear but she did. I just could not believe it, I felt going awe over her. She consoled me, she hugged me. She hugged me! It was the most comforting hug I ever received after my mum died; it seemed like the best place to be, in her arms. She was trying to console me but I ended up consoling her, because she was so upset after learning about my life. I said na she's very strange but still I like her. She's my only friend, after years I can see the light in my dark life, I have hope of coming out of this loneliness. She is strong, beautiful and full of light. She is my light.' **

'Nakul was getting attached to her, he was getting used to her, which happens rarely. She must be so special there must be about something which gave Nakul hope. Who is she? He didn't mention so far anything which would identify her. I wonder where she is and does she even know Nakul is... no more?' So many thoughts are going through ACP's mind about this girl, he tries to remember whether any girl tried to enquire about Nakul in last 2 months but he doesn't remember getting call or visit by any girl regarding Nakul. ACP turns to the next entry.

**12/06/11**

**'Today I heard her speaking to her dad on phone, till today I never believed her about her relationship with her father but today what I witnessed has changed my belief. She was absolutely correct; her relationship was her father is extra ordinary. Their relationship is everything which I wanted to be my and dad's relation, the one I dreamt of having. Her father is so chill, so nice, so amazing I can't even describe her. He doesn't live here in India but he calls her every day, he asks her about her day about everything. She shares with him everything and I mean everything. He even knows about her first crush. I mean seriously wow. When I heard her speaking to him I envied her, she even told her dad about me and on the other hand it's me who didn't even told her who my dad is. She's so chill, so straight to point which I love about her. Her heart is pure very pure, she says whatever in her heart. Sometimes it surprises me to see we have a lot in common, not only taste but our circumstances too. Her mother also died when she was barely a year old. For her, mother, father, sister, brother, friend all is her father whom she loves very much more than her life. I wish I had relation like this with dad.'**

ACP starts to get the clear picture of girl and Nakul. Nakul must've felt a connection with her because of their similarities. ACP badly wants to know who this girl is. With this he turns to the next entry.

**15/06/11**

**It's father day today. Thanks to her I wasn't even able to forget it. I did not even knew when but she had set alarm on my phone for today. She wants me to say 'I love you' to dad. She wants me to take a step towards our relationship. Why should I, he should? "****_Stop being a brat Nakul. It's FATHER'S DAY, not son's day._****" She can be so bossy at times. I told her this is not going to make any difference plus I am done trying to get his attention and I don't love him. "****_All lies Nakul, a child can never hate their parent fully no matter how much they want. I listen to you all the time rant about how much you dislike your dad but I can see in your eyes how much you care about him, love him. So drop this act and come on its father day. At least for today stop this act_****." Ok seriously having friend and all is nice but I am so not cool with her reading my eyes, heart or any similar organ! I got so mad at her for this but now I think she is right after all. I never admitted to myself but I do care for dad still, I love him a lot still. Fine... I'll give it a try, but if this doesn't work, she will so going to regret, making me do this.'**


	7. Chapter Seven

Thank you guys for your continuing support, your reviews. You all are adorable. Thankyou. :D *hugs*

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**Lost | Chapter Seven - Almost**

_"Dad!... Dad?"_

_"I am here Nakul."_

Nakul turns towards the voice of his father which was coming from ACP's room. Nakul goes inside the room but does not find ACP there, he looks around then sees the door of balcony is open, he nervously moves towards the balcony, finds his father standing against the balcony railing with the file in his hand. He seems to be lost in the file. _'Seriously, for once it'd be nice to see him without a reading material in his hand.'_ Nakul shakes his hand while thinking.

_"What?"_

ACP's voice brings Nakul back.

_"Hm?"_

ACP looks at him strangely, trying to see what's going on his mind, then goes back to reading the file.

_"Why were you calling me? What do you need?"_

_"I need to... tell you something."_

ACP looks up from his file at Nakul's face for a moment.

_"Yes?"_

_"Dad... it's... I..."_

Nakul is getting nervous, he don't know how to say this. He can't do this, it's harder than it looks.

"_Nakul, I don't have a whole day. Tell me what is it."_

_"I am trying but you are not helping dad!"_

ACP shots him a glare, which makes Nakul even more uncomfortable.

_"You know what dad, don't worry about it. its nothing."_

_"Are you sure?"_

_"Yea, you carry on."_

Without saying another word or catching his father's expressions Nakul quickly leaves from there, cursing himself for even trying; now he feels like a complete full; he doesn't notice ACP's surprised expressions.

It's 00:40 when ACP gets home from bureau, first thing he does is check Nakul's room which he finds empty, he is not surprised by it. Occasionally Nakul would come home quite late, there was a time where he would stay out for nights but thankfully that phase is over. Now he does get home but late. ACP goes to in his room, lies on bed. He is too tired today; the day was very hectic at bureau today. Few moments later ACP finds an envelope on the bed. He moves his hand towards the envelope, looks closely it only says 'for you' and nothing else. ACP gently opens it and finds a beautiful card, it says 'Happy Father's Day'. ACP is shocked. '_Ohh... that is why Nakul came to me this morning, he wanted to wish me Father's Day. Nakul wanted to wish me? I can't believe this._' ACP is pleasantly surprised at this gesture, a sweet smile appears on his lips as he opens the card and reads it, the card only says '_Happy Father's Day, Dad. Love, Nakul._' ACP decides to thank Nakul for the card later; he smiles and closes the card.

_'I never thanked him for the card.'_ The realization hits ACP and jolts him back to reality. _'I never thanked him. No wonder he didn't talked to me for days after this incident. He thought I never read the card or did not care. I am so so sorry Nakul, I forgot to say thank you and how much I loved it.'_ This realization upsets him once again. ACP just stops for a moment he can't carry on reading right now. He shuts the diary and sits in the silence just sits there. Half an hour later ACP reopens the diary and moves towards the next entry. Which was on few days later, Nakul actually didn't write anything about the 'Father's Day' incident.

**20/06/11**

**'Happy Birthday, not so lonely boy! Wow, a lot has changed this year, hasn't it? I am not lonely anymore, I have her. Today I spent my day with her; she actually had a small surprise for me, we had so much fun together. Today I got to know what celebration means. She baked me a cake, herself, she baked! It was so sweet of her. First time after mum's death I am not lonely on my birthday. She is the best thing happened to me, ever.'**

'_At least Nakul had someone who was there for him._' ACP feels somewhat relieved as he continued reading about this mysterious girl. Whoever this girl was, she was a true friend to him. The next entry wasn't until 2 months later.

**20/08/11**

**'This is to my almost holiday with dad. Almost!'**

_'Almost holiday?'_ ACP wonders, when was this, he looks at the date and then his memory starts to get clear.

_"Nakul"_

_"Come in dad?"_

ACP enters in Nakul's room, who was busy with his laptop. ACP comes and sits on bed in front of Nakul. Seeing this Nakul stops typing and closes his laptop.

_"You wanted something?"_

_"What are you doing this weekend Nakul?"_

Nakul looks at his dad in surprise as he never asked this before; he thinks for a moment before replying.

_"I am thinking of going to Goa for weekend, the weather is quite nice these days plus I just need change in scenery. Why?"_

_"That's great... Well, after a long time I have gotten a weekend free so... if you don't have problem I could join you."_

Nakul stares at his father in shock, he thinks he heard wrong. He can't believe what he has heard.

_"Nakul?... Nakul!"_

_"Hmm.. yea?" _

Nakul finally comes out of shock to see his father watching him curiously.

_"You mean... a weekend of us? With no work, no CID?"_

_"Yes."_

_"Well that's great... I guess. Of course you can join in." Nakul still can't believe this is happening. _

_"Great, plus we can do some fishing there."_

_Another shock. _

_"Fishing? Seriously dad? Fishing?"_

_"Yes, of course. When I was kid, I used to do a lot of fishing, my father taught me. Now I can teach you some fishing too."_

_"Y...yea sure.. I would love that."_

_"Great, well be ready we'll leave on Saturday morning."_

_"Okkies."_

ACP slightly pats on Nakul's back and goes from room, leaving a shocked Nakul behind.

**Saturday Morning**

Nakul is so excited, he never felt this excited before, he is ready with his bags, soon ACP walks in lounge to see Nakul all ready and excited.

_"I'm ready dad."_

_"Nakul..."_

_Nakul look at his father who looks slightly worried. _

_"What's wrong dad?"_

_"Nakul... I will not be able to join you, I just called by DCP Chitrole regarding a case urgently. I have to go..."_

_"But dad, you made this plan."_

_"I know, I'm sorry but I have to go, it's my duty. You go ahead, you had already planned it so you go..."_

_"Yes, of course, duty above all."_

_"Nakul."_

_"Save it dad!"_

_"Nak..."_

Before ACP could utter another word Nakul walks out of the house with his bags in anger.

_'I so wanted to go on that holiday with you Nakul. I wanted to teach you fishing. Experience the father-son bond which I experienced with my father when he taught me fishing. Only if I hadn't taken that call from DCP that day.'_ ACP is lost in his thoughts once again.

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Hope you all enjoyed it. :)


	8. Chapter Eight

Thank you once again for all of your support and encouragement. Only because of guys I have been able to come this far and this story is a success. Love you my guys.

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Lost|Chapter Eight - Giving Up

**8/9/11**

**'It was her birthday today. I was planning for her birthday for days. I am so glad she loved all of it. I spent the entire day with her today, I made her take a day off from work because it's her birthday and she deserves a day off. She was so happy today but was missing her dad a lot. They talked on phone but still she was missing him, she wanted him to be here. I know sometimes she misses him too much but because of job can't regularly visit him, after all he in is US. She told her dad what I had planned for her, I was so embarrassed I was telling her to be sshh but no, she was just going on and on about my plans to her dad. Even her dad said thankyou to me today. I spoke to him first time today. He was so nice, so kind I just wish dad was like that. It was nice speaking to her dad today. Though the day was amazing but I knew she was missing her dad. I hate seeing her sad, I just can't see her sad for even a second. I want her to be happy forever, always. I never prayed for anyone before, not even for myself but today first time I actually prayed for her. I want her to be happy always.'**

'_The more I read about her, the more I like her. No wonder Nakul felt such strongly about her._' As ACP continues reading he understands Nakul's feelings better about this girl.

**14/10/11**

**'I played my new tune to her today, she loved it. She made me play it 3 times in a row. I know it's good but this good that I did not know. She asked me where I got the inspiration for this tune; I told her it was her. She has been my inspiration from quite few months now, I created this tune keeping her in mind. She laughed. She literally was laughing out loud. She was amused that she was my inspiration, as if that is not possible. First she thought I was pulling her leg. She still thinks I was joking. Why is it so hard for her to see what she is for me? She is my light, my hope, my inspiration, my... everything.' **

'_He was falling for her._' It was not a wild thought but an observation of ACP. Nakul was falling for her and he did not even realize that. A realization which brought a certain peace to ACP's heart, his son was experiencing love, the most beautiful feeling a human being can feel.

**27/10/11**

**'We had our first fight today. I never imagined me and her can ever fight but we did. It was over a silly thing, I guess we both didn't had a very good day so... she left in anger and I let her leave like this. Well I have apologized to her now and made sure she has eaten, so now finally I can eat too. I am NEVER EVER fighting with her again. Never.' **

ACP laughs gently at this entry, no matter how old he was, Nakul was still a kid from a heart.

**11/11/11**

**'I want to tell dad about her, should I, should I not?' **

_'I wish you had Nakul.'_ With this he turns to the next entry.

**20/11/11**

**'I tried telling dad about her tonight. I tried. But of course he is never interested, he has work to do. Fine. I am never telling him about her now.' **

'When did I try to tell me?' ACP wonders, ACP's eyes goes wide when he remembers.

ACP was in his room just laying in bed, resting he got back from bureau half an hour ago. Nakul makes his way to ACP's room; he gets surprise seeing Nakul home at this time, as he has been hardly at home these days.

_"Hey Dad."_

_"Hey... home early tonight, huh?"_

_"Yea..."_

_Nakul gets lost in his thoughts. _

_"Nakul?"_

_ACP brings him back to earth._

_"Yes?"_

_"Something wrong?"_

Nakul sits in front of ACP and tries to talk to him.

_"Nothing wrong, just wanted to... have a chat. I mean, we hardly see each other. So how was your day?"_

A surprise look appears on ACP's face as Nakul finish his sentence.

_"My day was... hectic, more like the other days but slightly more hectic. Are you sure, everything alright Nakul?" _

_"Yea.. yes of course. I just.. I just wanted to share something with you."_

_"Go on, I'm listening."_

_"Dad I..."_

_"Yes?"_

_Dad... it's, well..."_

_"Please tell me you haven't gotten yourself in trouble once again."_

Nakul looks at ACP in shock. _'Is that what he thinks of me? He can never expect anything good from me?'_ he wonders.

"What? No! Of course not. I just..."

Before Nakul could finish speaking, ACP's phone rings.

"Hang on Nakul, just a second."

ACP receives the call it is from his old friend. ACP starts talking to him.

"hang on a second."

ACP puts phone on hold and turns to Nakul.

"Nakul, it's Rajesh's phone, remember my old friend from university? Listen, I've to take this call, but as soon I am done, we'll talk for sure."

Nakul's face falls as soon he hears this. ACP touches Nakul's head and goes outside and starts talking on phone. Nakul leaves from there with crestfallen face.

'_Oh my God... so that was what Nakul was trying to tell me that night. How did I not see that?_' Regret is not enough to explain the feelings ACP is feeling right now. He had so many chances to bond with his son, to get to know him, get involve in his life and ACP just threw all of them away, just like that. Nakul was always second for him, always. On ACP's priority list Nakul was always last. No wonder God took his son away from him. ACP inhales sharply and rests his head against the bed, he gaze lifts from the diary and moves towards the window the darkest hour of night is fading away slowly as dawn is starting to make its way up. After some time ACP gets back to reading the diary.

**22/12/11**

**'She is gone back home for Christmas and New Year. It's only been a day and I miss her like hell. She offered me to go with her as well but I just could not go with her like this. Damn... I miss her but I am glad for her at least she'll be with her dad she was missing him a lot. Anyone who would know her well would miss her like this if she goes way. She is just like this, can't wait for her to get back.'**

ACP smiles at his son's impatience; Nakul wasn't one with the patience. ACP turns to the next page to read further.

**5/1/12**

**She is back... finally! Missed her so much, today I went to pick her up from airport. Dad was shocked to see me this early but who cares. She came back. Aww.. this hug, felt so good after ages. I feel so alive once again, she always does this, she has this thing that she can make anyone feel alive. Lol, she said I missed the hug more than her, what does she know. I ended up making another tune while she was away, but I'm not just giving it to her right now. Will give it to her on special occasion...**

'_So that's why he was so happy that morning, woken up so early, so fresh, no wonder. And what special occasion? What was this boy planning seriously._' A lot of questions were left unanswered, each entry was bringing more questions than answers. Anyways, ACP turns to next page hoping to find the answers, or maybe more questions.

**19/2/12**

**'Things are getting worse day by day between me and dad. Dad is getting more and more busy, spending more time at bureau with his adopted family and once again I am not part of his life. I just wish for all of this to be over. I am completely fed up with this routine, this life. I am just done, completely done. Even she has been pushing me a lot to turn things around with dad but it take two people to make any relation work. So I am done. She also does not get it how hard it is for me. I know she is only trying to help me, but it's not really helping me. I give up.'**

ACP's heart breaks into small pieces once again as he reads this entry, indeed this year was not good for them, him and Nakul gotten a lot more distant than they already were. With this ACP turns to the next page to read the next entry but the page is blanked. He flicks through last few pages of diary but all of them are empty, he goes back to the last entry he read. This indeed was Nakul's last entry in the diary. '_So this is it? the last entry, the last chapter of his life. With so many questions yet to be answered, this is the end? How can it be? He should have written more... he should have.' _Tears starts to form in his eyes once again, which burns his eyes even more as the constant reading and crying since the night made his eyes very sore. But sore eyes are nothing compared to a sore heart. _"I am so sorry my son for making your life hell, for ignoring you, for every wrong did I ever did to you. I am sorry from the bottom of my heart. I know no matter how much I apologize it will not turn back the time but I am so so sorry Nakul. Please forgive me, I beg of you. Forgive me, please."_ ACP brings his hands to his face and cries over his helplessness, his ignorance. He moves his hands from his face, moves towards the diary once again, to hold it tightly against his heart and then closes his eyes letting the tears of regret fall from his eyes.

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Enjoy! :) Hope you'll like it. And yes guys, the next chapter is the last chapter of this story.


	9. Last Chapter

Hey all, I'm back with my story 'Lost's Finale Chapter. I would like to thank you all for reading this story and for your continuous love and support. Thank you all so much. :) *Big hugs*. I have given it this ending because IF in future possible I MIGHT write a Prequel and/or Sequel to this story. I am not saying I will but if I might in future. :) Anyways, enough of my boring talk.. here, enjoy the Last Chapter. :) Guys this is the end of this story. :)

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**LOST| Chapter Finale – Holding On, Letting Go**

_"Dad?"_

_"Hmm?"_

_"Dadddd..."_

_"Nakul?"_

_"Yea... dad, it's me."_

ACP Pradyuman slowly opens his eyes and tilts his head towards the side to find his son laying next to him on bed, with his head resting on his hand and looking directly at his father with a bright smile on his face.

_"Nakul, is this you? Really you?"_

Nakul laughs slightly at his dad's shocked expressions.

_"Yes dad it's me."_

_"But how?"_

_"You called me."_

_"I did?"_

_"Yes dad. Sorry took so long to come but I now am here."_

_"I don't understand..."_

_"I know dad, me neither. But I am here, probably not for long, not forever but this moment we are together so we should make it count, right?"_

ACP looks at his son with hopeful eyes, it seems God has bestowed him with some mercy and granted him with few moments with his son. He will not let this opportunity slip, not this time. He will make every second count.

_"Yes, you are right. We should make every moment count."_

_"You know dad I used to imagine this, we both laying together and talking all night, till the morning. Talk about anything and everything, but we never got a chance."_

ACP moves his one hand closer to his son and start creasing his hair, immediately Nakul starts to feel so relaxed as if he is in heaven.

_"How is this happening Nakul? How are you here?"_

_"For once don't be a ACP dad, just forget about how, why and just live this moment."_

_"I'm sorry, I guess it's the downside of being an ACP."_

_"Yep."_

They way Nakul says 'Yep' brings smile on ACP's lips; he looks just like a small kid when he does that.

_"I made your life very hard, didn't I?"_

_"Well, to be honest not really hard but lonely yes. But someone has to pay the price in the name of duty, right?"_

_"Nakul, I am so so sorry for doing this to you. You did not deserve it, any of this; it was not your fault. It was entirely my fault..."_

_"It wasn't your fault dad. Well some but maybe if I had been more understanding we could've made it work."_

_"Let me say it, or else it will eat me alive for the rest of my life. It is my fault, I always gave you less attention, hardly any, you should have been my priority but you weren't and I do regret it. I do understand know that I was the reason for what happened to you... there is nothing more I want right now than to turn back the time and undo all of this."_

_"Life does not have an option of undo dad, though it would be nice if life came with an undo option."_

Nakul looks at his dad, who hasn't lifted a gaze from his son's face since he has opened his eyes. Nakul can see the guilt, pain, redemption in his eyes it is breaking his heart seeing his father in such condition. This is why he is here, to free him. Free both of them from the guilt, this pain which both of them have been carrying for so long. It is time to end it; this is why Nakul is here.

_"Dad, I never said how sorry I am for making your life harder than it was. I know being ACP isn't easy, but all I wished for that once you are home you are my dad not ACP, you leave ACP at bureau but I guess this never happened and that irritated me more. This and due to less communication between us one thing led to another and we lost the chance. Dad... I am sorry. I..."_

Nakul feels a lump in his throat, he is unable to say another further but his eyes say it all. ACP moves forward and kisses Nakul's forehead.

_"You know, you are the best son Nakul. I don't want anyone else my son but you, in this lifetime, in next and the next. It is always going to be you Nakul."_

Tears slowly starts to form in Nakul's eyes, he always yarned to hear this from his father.

_"Nakul I don't know if this will help or not but I want you to know I am truly sorry from bottom of my heart and if possible..."_

ACP joins his hands together in front of Nakul.

_"Please... forgive me."_

Nakul shockingly sits up on bed, immediately holds ACP's hands in his hands and kiss them.

_"What are you doing dad? Please don't do this."_

_"Nakul forgive me..."_

ACP starts crying.

_"Dad... it is alright dad, it's alright. Please stop. It's alright. I don't hold any grudges against you or anyone. " _

He just can't take it anymore he moves closers and hugs his dad tightly. ACP hugs him back both of them stay like this for some time before Nakul gently breaks the hug. Nakul then places his head in ACP's lap and ACP carries on creasing his son's hairs. Both of them are feeling so peaceful for the first time in their lives. After some time ACP breaks the silence.

_"I love you my son, very much. I am sorry for calling your music nuisance, I was being ignorant. Your music is very beautiful and I am proud of you for continuing with it. You are very talented; you should have played more often."_

Nakul could not believe his ears; is he really hearing all of this from his dad? Nakul gets so happy, _"Thank you dad." _Nakul's voice is barely above a whisper but ACP still hears it, he just smiles in response.

_"I never said it either dad, though I tried few times to say it but couldn't."_

_"What Nakul?"_

_"I love you so much, dad."_

_"I love you too my son."_

_"Dad..."_

_"Yes?"_

_"We both made mistakes but we can't carry the burden of past mistakes in our future. We have to let go. I have let go, now it is time for you to let go as well."_

ACP looks at his son confusingly.

_"Let go of what Nakul?"_

_"Let go of this pain, this guilt you are carrying in your heart which is a heavy burden."_

_"Nakul..."_

_"Dad, it's time... you have to let go... of me."_

ACP is shocked at Nakul's sentence; he just keeps looking at him in shock.

_"Dad... I don't mean that way but you have to stop with this guilt and pain. Hold on to the good memories. I know they were rare but come on, we had good times too, right?"_

_"Yes, we did. Nakul come back."_

ACP looks at Nakul with pleading eyes. Nakul smiles at his father's request.

_"I am not gone anywhere dad. I am with you always all you have to do is look in your heart you'll find me there."_

_"You are here to..."_

_ACP could not complete the sentence. _

_"Help you and myself... to let go. To tell you how much I love you dad."_

ACP brings Nakul's forehead close to his face and kiss his forehead gently. Nakul then lays in his lap once again, both father and son experience the most quiet and peaceful moment and then Nakul closes his eyes.

ACP's eyes get shot open, he is breathing heavily. Turning his gaze around to see where he was, he still finds himself in Nakul's room, on his bed. ACP immediately turns towards the side of the bed where Nakul was sitting, the place is empty. ACP tries to feel the side of bed to see if he was there or not. ACP looks around the room to find anything which would prove Nakul was here, with him till few moments ago. Nothing he could see which would say Nakul was there but ACP's heart is telling him it was all true, Nakul was here and every word they spoke to each other is true. ACP sits there for a moment trying to process what just happened when he realizes something. He doesn't feel any pain or guilt, his heart is not under a heavy burden. He feels fresh and for once in his life peaceful. '_He was indeed here._' ACP smiles at this realization.

**_Is anybody out there?  
Is anybody listening?  
Does anybody really know if its the end of the beginning?_**

ACP gets up from Nakul's bed and walks towards the window, the view is getting clear as the dawn starts to spread across the sky; a new morning, a new beginning.

**_The quiet rush of one breath  
Is all we're waiting for  
Sometimes the one we're taking  
Changes every one before.._**

**_It's everything you wanted, it's everything you don't  
It's one door swinging open and one door swinging closed_**

_'Thank you my son.'_ ACP whispers as he looks up at the sky.

**_Some prayers find an answer  
Some prayers never know  
We're holding on and letting go_**

ACP continues watching as the morning arrives, the view is absolutely beautiful right now, a smile spread across his face, and ACP closes his eyes.

Nakul's eyes shot open and are immediately are closed due to bright lights and blurred view. Nakul opens his eyes again after few moments the vision is slightly better than before. He feels stuck and is feeling a lot of pain, he tries to move but is unable to. He looks around but everything feels strange, not right. It takes him a moment to realize what is happening. He is in his car, actually stuck in his car which is upside down. 'Accident' the first thought comes into his mind when he realizes his car is upside down. Nakul tries to undo his seatbelt, tries to help himself but due to stuck upside down and a lot of injuries he is not able to move very much in his struggle his phone which was on steering wheel hands free set falls from there and hits Nakul's head. After a lot of struggle he gives up. '_I'm not going to make it.'_ His breathing starts to slow down; he starts to feel less pain which isn't good sign.

_"Bye Nakul." _

Nakul gets flashes of her the last time they saw each other, she wasn't very happy.

**_Sometimes we're holding angels  
And we never even know  
Don't know if we'll make it,  
But we know,  
We just can't let it show_**

"_Teja..y."_ Nakul tries to call her name one last time. He feels burning sensation in his throat, he is having difficulty breathing, but he tries to say something.

_"I.. am sorr...y. I know I shouldn't have fought... with you Tejay... I just could not see you leave... like... this. I know... your dad needs you but I needed... you too. I wanted... to stay with you... forever. I... hate...everything... without... you. I... am... sorry Teja..li for hurting you... I l..."_

Nakul's mouth gets very dry; his breathing is close to stopping, Nakul feels every drop of life from his body is being drained now, he feels his eyes slowly closing.

_"Nakul"_

He tries to open his eyes at the voice but is unable to.

_"Nakul... listen to me."_

Nakul recognises this voice.

**_It's everything you wanted, it's everything you don't  
It's one door swinging open and one door swinging closed_**

_"Dad..."_

_ "Nakul..."_

Nakul doesn't know if his dad is really there or his brain is playing with him but right now all he can hear is his dad.

_"Dad... I want to... dad... I don't have much...time... dad... I... am so...rry. I am so...sorry... for hurt...ing you. Dad... I..."_

Nakul stops breathing and closes his eyes.

ACP opens his eyes and finds the beautiful view in front of his eyes once again.

**_Some prayers find an answer  
Some prayers never know  
We're holding on and letting go  
Yeah, we're letting go_**

_"Maybe one day... one day, I will find that girl who helped my Nakul who became his friend and thank for. Thank her for making my son happy even if it was only for some time. I will find her one day."_

ACP looks across the sky with hopeful smile on his face.

**_We're holding on and letting go  
Yeah, we're letting go _**

* * *

Hope you all enjoyed it, please do let me know what you'll think of it. :)


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